I Bet You Think Y2K was a Hoax? You are saying "everything is now OK", aren't you?

January 1, 2000 has come and gone. You figure that all is well. Right? Well, think again Sherlock.

Who did we have fixing Y2K bugs - our best developers and programmers?

That's right - we let MBA's, management consultants and re-trained accountants fix our precious programs. Let's face it folks: They were not the best we had - they are the best we could get.

How many new bugs did these people add to otherwise healthy systems?

What are we going to do? How can we ensure that Y2K problems are really gone for good?

First it was the incredible Today 95. Then it was the tremendous Today 98. Now it's Today 2000®. The fantastic new way to count the glorious and happy days since we all bought Windows 2000. (BTW: We don't care about Windows XP - it does not crash enough to be a true Microsoft Operating System)

Just say the days! For example: 123 w 2000 means 123 great days since Windows 2000. That's all there is to it. And you can use bw 2000 for dates before Windows 2000 too. Pretty simple isn't it?

No more dd/mm/yy, mmm-dd-yy, days, months or even years. Just blissful and marvelous days since Windows 2000. No more remembering things like: 31 days in January or 28 in February. We don't need 'em. Just think of the wonderful days since you installed all 100 MB of object code (not to mention how many times you have re-installed!)

With this new type of calendar (oops, I mean Calendar 2000®), we can even forget days-of-the-week. Don't say 'have a nice long weekend'. Say 'have a nice 346, 347 and 348'. Don't say 'it has been a great summer'. Just say the days - 'it has been a great 245 through 299 w 2000'.

Is there a better way to pay homage to Bill ®, our benevolent friend and hero? I can't think of one!

Now you've seen the future. It's time for you to get started! Change all your programs to use Today 2000®. It's the way Bill ® tells time!

I know what you are saying: What a great idea.

Note: The Java Progam used to calculate today's date is freeware. Here's the Java Source Code.

The Microsoft® 32-bit© Today 2000®* for Windows 2000® and Windows NT® (complete with Date 2000® Time 2000® Calendar 2000® and Horoscope 2000®) might be available soon for just $599.00 (only $6296.2000 for the convenient 10 pack) - Patent Pending.

* Today 2000 only requires a 2.6 Ghz Pentium IV with 1 GB RAM and 200 GB hard drive.

Please feel free to send money or E-Mail to craig@statchuk.com.